Saturday, August 27, 2016


I have many friends and bestfriends, one of my bestfriends turn out to be my special one. I have squad named "Manis Manja" and consist of 4 people, 2 girls and 2 boys. one of them told me first that he liked me. Ofc I'm so surprised cause I never think this gonna happen and when he said it, I don't have any feeling on him except love as bestfriend. I said to him that let it flow, cause when he said it, I've just broken up with my ex-boyfriend. He also said that no need to be in hurry, I can take my time to think. Well, after a month I think, I said to him that I liked him, too. Time flies so fast, and we haven't any relationship like dating, cause I don't want to. Sometimes he also asked me, what exactly our relationship is, and I've never changed my answer, FRIEND. Maybe my answer made him upset or hurting him, but I really don't want to have any relationship with boys again that time, I'm scared of being hurt again and again. 
Four months passed by, we fight more often, he changed, I changed. I felt that he changed, act strange, not like person I love before. He never notice me again, not care of me, ignored me abviously. He pissed me off and we fought that day, I lost my control, so does he. At first, I thought he was acting like this cause he wanted I was to being his girlfriend, my guess is totally wrong, finally he confessed that he didn't love me anymore, he said it was too late for me to wanna be his girlfriend. His words broke my heart, indeed. I really love him as bestfriend, soulmate, partner-in-crime, but now I lost him. I had to face the truth even it killed me inside. I was crying for a week when I heard song that we used to listen together. 
When we finished our "HTS" , we promised to keep in touch each other and . . . . . . . . . . . no one talking after that. Even though, sometimes he chatted me (I never chatted him first, cause I am a girl hehe) and cause I'm still angry with him, obviously. Who won't pissed off if someone you love decide to broke you up? even I and him don't date. Some people including my mom, said that it was my fault cause everyone needs "kepastian". Nevertheless, I don't believe them. Maybe they were right, even for me it didn't make any senses that time. I thought "Why you have to be in relationship when you can just make commitment with him/her? It'll useless too if you're in relationship but one of you can't be loyal to his/her partner and end up with cheating, so what's the point of relationship?".
These few days, I miss them. I miss hang out with my squad, I miss him, too, as friend ofc, I have no feeling on him now. Sometimes I feel guilty to myself and my other 2 friends, cause they don't involve in my problem but they also get the effects. It feels awkward now when we meet each other even though we were very closed, even sometimes we slept over at his house. But now, everything has changed completely, sad fact that I have face it. The saddest thing that I found out several weeks ago, he left the group chat, It was really pissing me off. I told my girl what he did, and she also mad at him but we just pretend like "that's okay", "maybe now he has new squad and got bored with us". I don't know what he was thinking but it made me sad. 
Now, all I can do just look at photos. Like people said "Pictures don't change, even people in those pictures have changed" and "People change but memories don't".

I love them so much!xoxo

Friday, August 12, 2016

My First DBL

Omg guys, it has been so long since my last post hehe ... sorry okey, I'm little busy this week. so many quiz and homework.
My school join DBL!! I don't even know it actually if not my friends told me. So today, before the lunchtime, my teacher was in hurry and told that after school we can watch the match, my friends were screaming and laughing and running, lucky them didn't fall at the stair hehe. At first, I didn't really excited because I don't understand basketball. 

So when we already had had lunch, there was an announcement sounds like this "so all classes will end up at 7th hours and must ready at 2.40 ". This thing is really rare in my school. Seriously guys, this is the first time since I've been here for last 3 years. So I was so happy because we'll go dorm early muehehehe. Since girls are so sluggish for this thing such as changing clothes, make up (no need actually because the stadium is extremely hotttttt!) , and kind of like that. Before we set up to the stadium, my two boy friends gave some instructions and rules. So we went there by angkot ( it is public transportation like taxi but for many people, and can be booked) because all of the students and even the teachers also watched the match. So happy cause get out from Azkaban hahahahaha, kidding. 

So it took an hour to arrive there and we have to queuing up to enter the stadium. Because my school has strict rules for boys and girls so we sit seperately hahaha the left side is for girls, the middle is for boys and the right side is for girls again (because girls are always right hahaah kidding). 

Since it was my first time watching DBL, so I was so excited maybe and screaming all the time. All I could do just screaming guys wkwkw I was so excited .......... because supporter also become part of the contest, so we have to sing the "yel-yel" ( I dunno the english sorry) , and to move together. So amazing I think, I feel we are so close together even we haven't talk each other #youknowitisliar .  

At first round we were lost 5 - 10, so horrible isn't it? and the second round we lost again with score 17- 23 if I'm not mistaken. And one of my friend ask us to pray "ayat kursi and al-Fatihah". I said it over and over again, and the third round we had same score 28-28, OH MY GOD IT WAS SO UPTIGHT. I didn't stop pray all the time, ask God to give his glory to my school. I never stop pray. And here is it.......... same score againnnnnnnnnnn 33-33. OMG GUYSSS, I was crying when I prayed, it was my first time crying because of my school, school that I often insult because of its weird and nonsense rules, but this timeee, I was crying because my school have to win the game, and I don't want my team loss the match! IT'S A BIG NOOOOOOOOOOO...... 

And the arbiter add 5 minutes to find out who will become a winner......
THIS WAS 5 MINUTES DEADLY FOR BOTH SUPPORTER AND PLAYER ahahahahahahahah also first time for me 5 minutes took so looooooong, I think every second become very meaningful for them. And for the last 2 or 1 minutes, my team scored 2 points for penalty I think. So we was screaming loudly and want to fly from our seat to the arena wkwk. and after that the match become more upthight than before and thankyou for our player who win the game due to your three-point-shoot and make us win with 39 - 35 . So proud of you, whoever you are! and Thankyou for saving our school from nightmareeeeee....... and off course for my beloved God who grant my prayer and others.

Today, I've learnt about how great our creator is, even for first and second round we lost it, you show us how your greatness and miracle can work even for the last minutes. I feel so happy cause this match teaches us about being patience, keep spirit, and good friendship. Friendship that teaches me what they real meaning are and the last, the power of pray, it helps a lot! I'm feeling lucky today, once more, Thankyou Allah and Alhamdulillah what you have shown me today😇.